When We Lose Control

 

Control is one of the myths we use to encourage masses that we have it and why they should join us.

It's the myth that colonialism was good for us even as it invaded other lands and called it "Discovery".

Yes our options were good then. Emigrate to America, Canada, Australia and New Zealand under the discovery myth and the myth of white supremacy. 

We were taught that only the masculine gender had the power to rule the world - another myth that we were great, that capitalism was good and the purpose of woman was to look after the home, create a happy place for men to return to after a long hard day's work.

This myth included the idea that women were weak and men were strong. I believed this at first until I realized that men did not see what I saw when it was clear to me that some were being bullied and silenced and no man would listen to a woman's ideas.

I tried to copy this in my personal behaviour but couldn't. I lacked the ability to bully others consistently and to be in control a 100 per cent, to never show my feelings, to argue with everyone I met and insist I was right.

This was a mental illness I learned. To never allow anyone to shut me up. To be a success always and forever and to always win even if it meant beating up others with my mouth, silencing those who had different ideas. Consequently I jumped between dominating all conversations then silencing myself. There was no love here. There was a time I felt love was not part of being a success. It was determination.

Now I see how much of life on this planet has been destroyed by egos believing they must conquer the world. Alone. Demand obedience. Be the authority on right and wrong. Like the Nazi's, Canadian immigrants, American supremacy, Rule Britannia, right wing capitalism, Residential School for aboriginal children, Authoritarian rule, White Supremacy, misogyny, toxic masculinity, etc. 

Wherever our intelligence is subjected to maintaining control, guns, weapons, laws, prisons, religions.