What I hope for, even though I know hope is not enough, is people will come to know the power of love. Then parents will no longer believe performance is everything. To encourage their children to get top marks to prove their worth does not take to account their innate value.
Yes we want our children to learn but getting top marks or winning the most goals or being the most popular does not translate to success in life. It just makes parents proud until the child makes his or her next mistake.
Some schools reports are no longer using the A to D means of describing how well their students are doing. This pulls us into a two dimensional world of judgment. The expectation that an A+ student shall be a success and a B- student will not.
I believe teachers, principles and school super-intendants, have realized we are not two-dimensional animals. Understanding life, science, arts and humanity is more complex than school reports or marks.
Sceptical about what's on the outside and more interested on the inside, I loved figuring out how others become happy? Growing up I was obsessed with whether I was liked, likeable or basically good. This narcissistic obsession was not good for me or anyone who had to deal with me.
Obsession with perfect beings and being perfect meant I did not help others even though I wanted to.
Marriage and children gave me direction but still I was imperfect. Who cares?
Competing for top marks, top popularity and being a success - came from a general obsession with performance. Anxiety for parents to nurture children to be perfect. Anxiety for teachers, headmasters and superintendents to create perfect experiences for children.
Children become adults who work for top positions, seek gratitude from those in their care and respect from all who know them. Adults who have this need for positive feedback. I mean how do you know how your efforts are received without a dialogue, a report, or acknowledgement.
Friends, acquaintances will ask "how are you?" But how do you feel does not get acknowledged even though it all begins with how you feel.
I tried to point out the feeling part to my children and others. Growing up I felt a lot of anxiety of not being good enough. Should try harder. Should not hurt anyone. Now I listen to the world news and it hurts in my gut to hear of famous ambitious humans who blow up other nations, countries, in order to win.
Hitler did not win in the end. After all the cruelty and destruction he was viewed as mad. I was horrified that even in the country I was born in, there were people who supported Nazis. The people I met were kind and loving. Doctors and teachers, mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles, who had my best interests at heart.
This is not a Pollyanna thing. Now I am aware of terrible cruelties towards First Nations, people of colour, LGBTQ people, children in abusive homes, warring nations and women. Cruelty and injustice is the main course of media reports besides sport.
What I hope is we stop slapping marks on vulnerable foreheads, so that all have a chance to grow up with self worth before they seek to rule the world by killing others, blowing up other nations to prove they are somebody. So that personal wealth is not an accumulation of thing but character of compassion and sensitivity. So that sensitive intelligence is not dismissed as naive and we can focus on healing this planet from greed, hate, fear and suspicion.
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