What Does It Cost?

what does it cost

to not be wounded

to not admit wounds

to be stoic in mind and flesh

to have dry eyes

to be a ballerina in pain

to be a poet trying

with every inhalation

not to die

the cost is easy to figure

not with math or list

the cost is tomorrow

and all its rude honesty.

What is it that I must do?

 We, the sentient creatures, are in this time and place where we are informed on many levels, that there is danger and it is urgent that we do something about it, even though we don't have the power to fix all that needs to be fixed.

Not even the President of the United States can fix it. The trauma and the structural violence of many centuries have put the human heart and mind in the centre of a large maze and whichever turn we make will not lead us out of danger.

The problems we face now cannot be fixed by authoritarian agendas or weapons of mass destruction. Yet there is a churning inside and an anxiety that is difficult to endure.

There are things I can do about the economy, politics, climate, the level of fear but it won't fix the world. So I ask myself - who do I think I am that I should worry about the big picture. And yet if I don't what will inform me on what is important and what isn't.

This quandary is not about my ego. It is a message like the rustling of leaves in the wind. It is the silence, the radio, the books and the television programs that circle my consciousness.

It is like a moment's awakening. The words that come just when I am about to fall asleep. This epiphany, vague as it is, will be lost come morning.

I am assured in a quiet way that I am here for a reason and for as long as I live, there is something I must do, something I am here to do. Not something fantastically huge but something that is needed. Something like an energy wafting out of an open window.  Something that whispers across the garden and the pond. Something that comes through me but not of me - to paraphrase Kahlil Gibran. Something that I can do because of my particular history and my particular circumstances. Something that is authentic, without fanfare or crashing cymbals or a gun. Something that will not harm anyone.

I don't yet know what it is but when the time comes I must do it. And this thing that I must do which I will know when the time comes, is a comfort to me now, and when the time comes I will trust it.

This goes for you too. There is something that you can do, before you leave this place. Something that will help to heal this battered planet.

This is not a call for war, or the use of force, not an authoritarian dictate - although we might feel tempted because of  high levels of anxiety. We can offer what might ease the fears of other beings, not tell them what to do.

Native Knowledge

Anthropologist Wade Davis, now at the University of British Columbia, refers to the constellation of the world’s cultures as the “ethnosphere,” or “the sum total of all thoughts and dreams, myths, ideas, inspirations, intuitions, brought into being by human imagination since the dawn of consciousness. It’s a symbol of all that we are, and all that we can be, as an astonishingly inquisitive species.” Native Knowledge: What Ecologists Are Learning from Indigenous People. Jim Robbins. Yale Environment 360.

However, our national government seem to be babysitters saving this land for the profit of other nations.

350.org warns: “Let’s be clear – today’s announcement was a pledge to write a blank cheque, backed by public money, to a Texas oil company in a desperate play to bailout a pipeline that violates Justin Trudeau’s own promises on climate change and Indigenous rights. It’s desperate, dangerous and delusional, and it ignores the fact that opposition to this pipeline, in the courts, in the streets and all across Canada, is only going to grow. There’s no indemnity against that.”
“Desperate, dangerous, delusional” – 350.org Responds to Morneau Kinder Morgan Announcement

I believe our future depends on our ability to throw away centuries of European hegemonic ideology and open up to the wise voices of those who are defending the planet.

Plan for Healing: a proposal for conversation

Planning is not always effective but it's a good start. Make a plan and update it frequently as you learn more along the way. Begin with a conversation with someone or some people whose ideas you respect, someone whom you admire for whatever they have achieved and how they present themselves in the world.

The conversation could cover these questions or these questions could springboard to other ideas. Be flexible and don't worry about staying on the agenda if the ideas expressed are worth exploring.

1. Write down the most critical symptom that needs to be healed. Your mental health? Relationships in your community? Letters to the editor: are they inclusive or preachy and divisive? Public discussions: are they focused on right and wrong, us against them or do they explore ideas?

2. Where do our opinions and positions come from? How useful are the facts in establishing connections with others?

3. What is it we value in ourselves and our friends? We need to write down these thoughts so we can come back to this question.

4. What are we grateful for in our community?

5. How much influence do we have in our society? How much influence do you have personally?

6. What, in your opinion, are the hallmarks of a civil society?

7. How important are predictions and expert opinions as compared to your perceptions in each moment? Is mindfulness helpful? Be Skeptical?

8. What character traits make us human? Describe the nature of a human being.

Remembering Tommy Douglas

“Once more let me remind you what fascism is. It need not wear a brown shirt or a green shirt – it may even wear a dress shirt. Fascism begins the moment a ruling class, fearing the people may use their political democracy to gain economic democracy, begins to destroy political democracy in order to retain its power of exploitation and special privilege.” Tommy Douglas