How Toxic Masculinity Shackles Men to Misogyny

"Boys and young men are so routinely expected to betray their better natures, to smother their consciences, to renounce the best of themselves and submit to something low and mean. As if there’s only one way of being a bloke, one valid interpretation of the part, the role, if you like. There’s a constant pressure to enlist, to pull on the uniform of misogyny and join the Shithead Army that enforces and polices sexism. And it grieves me to say it’s not just men pressing those kids into service." About the Boys, Tim Winton.

"What are we left with?" asks Winton. If you are not part of a culture that celebrates coming of age into adulthood then the rite of passage is about drinking beer and getting laid. 

Political climates now reveal that nothing else is expected of a man but to be one of the boys. Which I think means non-judgement, right or wrong, of the tribe. What's said or done in the clubhouse, stays in the clubhouse. 

You can understand how the instinctive feeling of reflection or self-questioning would be seen as high-treason girlishness. 

School bullies, alpha males, can rely on absolute loyalty beyond the point of torture, to death. The witch hunts, the gang rape, the ridicule of women's bodies, all demand loyalty to the group.

No matter how violent or hurtful the words or the acts, the policies or the demands - no-one must be allowed to comment or judge.

But this sounds fine for Chimpanzees, Ghengis Khan's army or the Mafia, however,  whether we like it or not, our brains have evolved. This is why PTSD is so prevalent. Winton points out how boys are punished for having a conscience, how they must not under any circumstances say what they feel or even acknowledge what they feel. 

Women also learn to do this too if they want to stay employed in the group. It looks like this is an example of how power works in our society. 

In this age of nuclear weapons, pollution, endless wars and inequality, it is a disaster, another disaster waiting to happen.  

On the grave of our humanity we could write "forgive them Mother - they knew not what they were doing".

Where I am Folded I Am a Lie

Rainer Maria Rilke respectfully declines to review or criticize poetry, advising the younger Franz Xaver Kappus that "Nobody can advise you and help you, nobody. There is only one way. Go into yourself."[1]


I am too alone in the world, and yet not alone enough
to make every moment holy.
I am too tiny in this world, and not tiny enough
just to lie before you like a thing,
shrewd and secretive.
I want my own will, and I want simply to be with my will,
as it goes toward action;
and in those quiet, sometimes hardly moving times,
when something is coming near,
I want to be with those who know secret things
or else alone.
I want to be a mirror for your whole body,
and I never want to be blind, or to be too old
to hold up your heavy and swaying picture.
I want to unfold.
I don’t want to stay folded anywhere,
because where I am folded, there I am a lie.
and I want my grasp of things to be
true before you. I want to describe myself
like a painting that I looked at
closely for a long time,
like a saying that I finally understood,
like the pitcher I use every day,
like the face of my mother,
like a ship
that carried me
through the wildest storm of all.”

― Rainer Maria Rilke

You don't need a Ph.D to save the world

You just have to believe that doing the right thing at the right time, even though you may have to sacrifice something, is all that is required.  However we know that it takes more than one person and one generation, and that justice rises and declines continually. We watch the stone roll back down the hill and must roll it up again, forever.

Brigitte DePape spoke clearly and succinctly and the only weapon she carried was her conscience and a placard. Still she was classified as a security risk by a member of government.

Here is her message posted by Janice Williamson on The Pomegranate:

Harper’s agenda is disastrous for this country and for my generation. …We have to stop him from wasting billions on fighter jets, military bases, and corporate tax cuts while cutting social programs and destroying the climate. Most people in this country know what we need are green jobs, better medicare, and a healthy environment for future generations.

Contrary to Harper’s rhetoric, Conservative values are not in fact Canadian values. How could they be when 3 out of 4 eligible voters didn’t even give their support to the Conservatives? But we will only be able to stop Harper’s agenda if people of all ages and from all walks of life engage in creative actions and civil disobedience. …This country needs a Canadian version of an Arab Spring, a flowering of popular movements that demonstrate that real power to change things lies not with Harper but in the hands of the people, when we act together in our streets, neighbourhoods and workplaces.

Would it be better if people did not protest at all? What if we all stayed in our comfortable homes, transfixed to our big screen TVs, ignoring the reality around us? Should we really just accept the status quo that makes the poor, poorer and allows the environmental destruction that is ruining our planet? Where are all the people who protested in the 60’s and 70’s that inspired many of today’s activists? Have they given up on fighting for their ideals? I fear that too many people from my parents’ generation have abandoned their ideals because they think eliminating poverty or weaning ourselves off our oil addiction just isn’t ‘realistic’.

Not only is protesting important, it is our fundamental right. Many of my friends were denied this right when the police unlawfully detained them in appalling conditions for protesting peacefully, more specifically, for holding hands in a semi-circle. In order to preserve our right and ensure this does not happen again, a public inquiry into police conduct and detainee conditions is absolutely essential.