For those who find Christmas painful.

Some thoughts for those who cannot enjoy the season.  Those who are still grieving a lost one - my heart goes out to you as you bring out (or in) the tree and can't bring yourself to decorate it because the grief overwhelms you and instead of making you happy you are struck by how locked outside you are feeling, like the little match girl with your nose against the window.

Or how focusing on choosing gifts for others seems so superficial and shallow even though you always enjoyed it in the past.

Or, if you are living in poverty and you can't spend money you haven't got, on presents for the most vulnerable in your family - how it just makes your situation more acute, And the thing you can't ignore is that anger sitting there like a stubborn goat.

Or, you recall a past Christmas where there was trauma - a relative that assaulted you or someone you love. Or a relative that drank beyond their ability to know what they were doing and the rest of the family spend the day walking on broken glass trying to avoid the elephant. 

Or, an unexpected break up after all the preparations and anticipation you put into the day.

Or because you do not identify as Christian and were excluded from these holidays. The memory of being left out made you feel like you didn't belong.

Whoever you are, wherever you live, I wish you good books, perhaps lots of sleep, or whatever it is you need most - a supportive and empathic family.

Crisis centres across Canada: http://www.partnersformh.ca/resources/find-help/crisis-centres-across-canada/

Plan the next 30 years

What is happening today was possibly planned 30 years ago, by many, thinking in their own board rooms, how to achieve their best outcomes. Along the way these plans would be adjusted, changed, some would have failed, but some came through well.

In her post "Message From Meg", Meg Riley of the Church of the Larger Fellowship, suggested that we, the stakeholders in our society, ask ourselves some difficult questions, before we plan the next four years:

1. How will you take care of your body in hard times
2. How will you take care of your spirit in hard times?
3. Who are your people?
4. How will you resist oppression, your own and that of others?
5. What would be the worst thing you could imagine yourself doing in this time?

I think these questions are required after any election but the recent one in the US is devastating to many who have worked so hard for inclusive justice.

Her message looks deeply into each question and is worth reading and thinking about. For the 30 year plan we might need to imagine how the world will look and then to write a future/back history.  How did it get there? What pressures caused what events? What visions empowered new movements for social justice, for the economy, for health, for the environment? 

Then to look into how we could organize a preferred future.  This would be a good exercise for a group, a family, a congregation.  You can read more about Imaging the Future (Elise Boulding) here. 

Being a citizen is not easy. It requires time, conversation, the patience to listen, the courage to speak, and a sober acknowledgement we are all in this together.

Humanity at Hazard: The Etiology of War

This paper by John Alexie Crane, published in 2008,  (and posted on Episyllogism) asks "Human beings are extremely creative at making weapons and war, but persistently inept at achieving lasting peace. Why is this?"

Crane explains this well and there are two main points that I took from it. One is that we are animals with animal instincts but our culture denies it. And the second point is that groups are led by males who have a strong drive for power and control. These alpha males arouse a fighting spirit among other males such as "Make America Great Again!"

Alpha males, when they are aware and responsible create better groups but if they are immature and unaware, they can destroy and devastate their group.

"Together," writes Crane, "we must develop a social order rooted in the reality of human nature rather than in denial and delusion, a social order that will make survival possible. Otherwise, this promising human experiment that has come so far in its development will end."

That is our task. That is the problem we must tackle.

The Source of Addiction

"Through the generosity and courage of their sharing, I saw that the sources of addiction do not originate in the substances people use but in the trauma they endured. In fact, the self-medications my patients employed were an understandable response to a set of unnatural circumstances, namely the historical trauma inflicted on First Nations throughout Canadian history, and up to the present. " Gabor Mate, First Nations Health Authority.

It's time for us to realize how we might be saved by our First Nations teachings.  They are teaching us that abusive power is toxic, and as we see our leadership becoming more ineffective in dealing with the toxicity of oil pipelines and tankers, seemingly unable to choose a clean future, we will be imprisoned in the residential school of economic tyrants.

Sacred Masculine and Sacred Feminine

“Human strengths such as willpower, compassion, and the seeking of freedom are kept alive when people are inspired by love and there is a blending of feminine and masculine qualities. Those who live deeply in love with the fullness of life are capable of fighting for what they care for with all that they have.” Arkan Lushwala, The Time of the Black Jaguar.

Where is the sacred masculine in the economy? Where is the sacred feminine in the neoliberal market? Where is the blending of willpower, compassion and the respect for life, human and all other, on the stock market or GDP? Where is the trail to our future?

When the world keeps telling you they have all the power and you have none

Remember where that voice is coming from.  Is it your family, your spouse, your company, the ad agencies, the government, the bank, or your mind?  Who keeps giving you the message that you have no choice or that we have no choice?

Once you've figured that out, ask that voice what a super-hero would do, or a genius? Ask Nelson Mandela what he would do.  What would your grandmother do?

Take notes. Write down all the other voices along with their answers.  Put the notes away and come back to them later.

Going over those answers - are there any that you are capable of doing. You don't have to do anything you don't think you can do.  Not now anyway.  There may come a time when you really have no choice and there is no time to weigh up the costs, but now you can ask yourself what you can do.

At the very least, this exercise is one of privilege, and it can help us feel compassion for those whose only option is a dangerous trip on the sea or perish beneath the bullets and bombs.

Saints Among Us

You do not have to be good.

You do not have to walk on your knees

For a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body

love what it loves.

Mary Oliver

Mary Oliver is a saint who prescribes self-compassion. Yes there are saints living among us today. There are people who are compassionate and who have made compassion part of their daily to-do list. They are not run off their feet trying to fix everything but are listening and seeing the sentient beings around them.

When they see things that are not right they think about how they can open the door to make it easier for us to care for those who suffer. The saints are working in medicine, healing, communications and community groups. They are journalists in war torn countries. They are advocates for those who are in prison because they protest oil pipelines to keep their water clean for drinking. They are lawyers who will defend those who have no money to pay for legal services.

Saints today are not perfect and not interested in being perfect or even the notion of perfection. They are tuned into the currency of moments and minutes for the greater good.